forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
