New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
