Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
