apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize