You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
