dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
