i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
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