Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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