I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
