quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
