32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I forgot how hot balto sounded
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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