PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Randomize
