eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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