What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
