After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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