You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Randomize
