I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
