I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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