i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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