Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I checked into jail on foursquare
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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