I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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