we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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