Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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