Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
