I never want to see another naked old woman again.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Randomize
