I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
