If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
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