my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
