at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
