guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
