We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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