honey bunches of taint.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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