Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Randomize