im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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