dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Randomize
