Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Randomize
