Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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