She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
