Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
