my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Randomize
