Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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