I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
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