What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I am full of burrito and curiosity
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
