Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
