My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
