dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
sick fucks of a feather flock together
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
