Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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