Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Randomize
