i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
