do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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