He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize
