in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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