we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
