Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
