She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
