I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
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