Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
