Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
