The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Randomize
