How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I'm too high and old for this...
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