yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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