I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
