Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
