I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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