M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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