saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
